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Silence is golden...

Updated: Nov 30, 2020

It is said we process anywhere between 60,000 to 70,000 thoughts a day. Many of these thoughts are on a feedback loop and are recurring thoughts.

The incessant chatter and the monkey mind which exists between our ears is the main cause of suffering these days. The reason being is that many people believe that because the thoughts are taking place in their mind, they must be real and therefore engage with the thought rather than observe it.

The observer effect states you are not your thoughts, rather you are the witness of the thought process occurring within your mind.

So if many people accept and engage with their thought process, what happens to the heart?

Now you might think the heart does not have a voice of its own. You might be interested to know that the heart has a frequency which is fifty thousand times greater than your brain’s frequency. Research has shown that the heart responds to the outside world well before the brain has time to respond.

What this means, is that we are only using one aspect of the human physiology to interact with our external world. Many people process their external life with their mind by attempting to draw meaning or attach a story, which in many instances is based on past conditioning and perception.

The heart does not have the same bias as the mind and therefore operates independently, whilst also working concurrently with the brain by sending its subtle messages.

Your heart is subtle. It is for this reason that many people find it challenging to become of their FEELINGS rather than their THOUGHTS.

Further to this, given our lives’ have become hectic and chaotic, there is more noise in our external world which means retreating in silence has become increasingly difficult.

If you contemplate that your mind is active for at least twelve hours or more on any given day, it makes sense that learning to quiet the mind takes time and patience.

Whilst I agree that meditation brings with it many lasting benefits, both mental, emotional and physiological, it is still impractical for busy people to find thirty minutes or more each day to sit in silence.

As a teacher of over 20+ years of mindfulness and meditation, I suggest that thirty minutes is the minimum time required to bring the mind into silence. A good practice may be twice a day, once in the morning and last thing in the evening in order to gain greater understanding and awareness of the benefits of meditation.

Being alone in silence allows the mind and body to harmonise with one another. It decelerates the stress response taking place in our body and moves us from a sympathetic state to a parasympathetic state.

Your body cannot thrive in a stressed state since in doing so it gets locked into a sympathetic state — otherwise known as the fight or flight response. The physiological effects on your mind and body may be felt for prolonged periods of this repeated stress cycle. It is important that you seek time out of your busy life and reconnect with your inner self.

One of the ways in which you can approach this is to retreat into silence for as little as ten minutes at a time, spread throughout the day. I would advise that you get outside in nature if possible.

During your working day, a simple ten minute break to go outside and walk around the block can do wonders for your mind and body. If this is not an option, perhaps retreating to a quiet room and sitting alone in silence without the distraction of technological devices would do well to allow you to feel at peace with yourself.

Whether you are a stay-at-home mother or working, there appears to be very little time throughout one’s day to be alone in silence.

Many of you are probably undertaking some form of health fitness regime that might include cardiovascular exercise, resistance training or some form of yoga or Pilates. The point is that you have learned to condition and train your physical body by undertaking this form of exercise.

Conditioning and taming your mind is no different than training your physical body. In many cases it requires consistent persistence and discipline in order to reap the benefits.

One of the easily recognized benefits of going into regular silence is an inner peace and harmony which opposes the chaos of your external world. This means that even though the chaos continues, such as emails, phone calls, deadlines and family pressures, you will find that these external occurrences have less impact on your inner world. What previously set you off and caused frustration and anxiety, will now have little impact on you.

Far too many people use mobiles or ipads to drown out the silence during their walk. Observe the number of people with a device plugged into their ears listening to loud music to drown out what is essentially silence.

I suggest you to take this time to put away your mobile or ipad and just be with yourself.

Ask yourself a simple question of: How am I doing? or an even better one How am I feeling?

Use this time to reconnect with yourself, through your inner world and become aware of the inner landscape and what it is asking of you. Doing so on a consistent basis means that you become aware of your emotional constitution and that you also notice and attend to any untoward thoughts or toxic emotions which may begin to surface.

As you become more comfortable sitting in silence, you will develop a language with your heart. Given that our minds are forever processing repeated thoughts from the previous day, it makes sense to connect with your heart to feel the energy stirring within. At first you might find this process daunting, since many people report that they are unable to hear anything.

When connecting with your heart you will develop a unique awareness which is unlike the language you have been accustomed to all these years. The heart speaks to you in a soft, kind and gentle voice. It gives you a reassuring feeling that you are on the right path or taking the right course of action, because you FEEL it.

I notice a radiating and tingling sensation in my chest area which begins to rise through the back of my neck and into my head. I feel my heart speak to me at times through the simplest aspects of life such as the beautiful colours of the forest as I drive through it or the way my child smiles or giggles. This is your heart talking to you.

A useful exercise to undertake is simply becoming aware and noting in your external environment, what causes your heart to stir with the emotion.

Is it a piece of music that no matter many times you listen to it, the music still stirs a response?

Is it the feeling you get when someone compliments you on something you have said, something you have done or the way you look?

It may be a simple as a thank you that you receive from someone when you do their shopping for them ...

or draw a person’s attention to the fact that they have dropped some money while they are waiting in queue in front of you?

Whatever it is, take mental notes of these moments rather than dismissing them as pleasant moments. The more you develop this language, the better you are able to know yourself and make decisions that are in harmony with your deepest self.

Your heart knows the truth of your being and will reassure you with this knowingness in a soft, silent voice. It is not obtrusive as the mind or the ego screaming for attention. It is silent, pleasant and has no agenda other than the fulfilment of your desires.

Learning to develop a relationship with your heart centre may take some practice and also a shift in awareness. Do not be too concerned with attempting to attain anything quickly, for if you try to force the experience you may be met with disappointment.

Instead, allow yourself to becoming better acquainted with that silence and deep inner wisdom, which is continually serving you.

This inner wisdom is within. At first many people find the switch from using a logical left brain orientated way of life challenging as we have been accustomed, since early childhood to use logic and reason to shape and create our world.

Females develop their intuitive abilities during this time, which serves them well since they are able to work with both frequencies and energies.

Your heart knows what is right for you. Do not be dissuaded from going deep into your heart by your logical brain which may step into override this connection.

As you go deeper into your heart, you may become aware of the emotions that were buried long ago. These emotions may take the form of: sadness, grief, anger, resentment or other forms of disempowerment, which stops you from leading a life full of passion, enthusiasm and happiness.

Do not create more meaning around these emotions by inviting your logical mind to heal these negative states. Instead, just be with the emotion and observe by becoming one with it.

The process of awareness runs deep within your consciousness and this practice of silently witnessing the emotion can do a great deal in order to heal the emotion. If there is a sense of sadness within, then just go to that place within your body where that sadness resides and be with it.

When we talk about being with that emotion, it is as though you were treating it by sitting down next to it and merely observe, listen and feel what the emotion expresses.

Do not be concerned with trying to heal the emotion or allow the emotion to go away, since doing so will only insight more of the same energy that fuels the emotion into growing stronger and more powerful.

In modern-day culture we feel the need to fix things when they are broken. This way of thinking has continued to shape the way we treat our illnesses and disease.

We want to fix that which is broken, yet the heart cannot be fixed in the same manner. The heart yearns to be heard, it seeks to be consoled and nurtured without reason or logic intervening.

In order to heal your life and bring peace and joy to your world, you must allow what is to come up and rather than process it, just be with it. Sit and listen with the inner guidance and make a vow to take the journey to the deepest part of yourself.

Each time you honour the deepest wisdom of your heart, you feel a lightness of your body, these are toxic emotions being released as you undertake the healing process.

All of this is addressed in the Fearlessly Moving Forwards Method

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