Updated: Apr 27, 2021
After a break-up we are faced with so many negative emotions. It could be sadness, anger, fear, vulnerable, lonely, resentment, disappointment, or a host of other emotions.
We start experiencing negative thoughts and/or emotions in childhood. The reactions we got from our caregivers are likely to have impacted us all the way into adulthood.
How do you feel about life in general?
Do you think you have a predominantly positive or negative attitude?
Do you feel good about your physical appearance and personality?
Many people experience a lot of negative thoughts. This consistent negativity can impact their lives. They might not be completely miserable, but they may struggle with sadness, anxiety, self hate, and more.
For example, someone has low self-esteem which effects relationships because:-
Not putting forward your needs. If you have low self-esteem you may find it difficult to ask others for help. This means an individual with low self-esteem may not get their needs fulfilled in their relationships, as they feel too afraid to ask.
Sensitivity. People with low self-esteem may take feedback or simple requests personally. For example, you may feel rejected or hurt when your partner asks for some ‘quiet time’. Your hurt may cause you to recoil or snap at your partner, and an argument may boil over. While your low self-esteem clearly affects your relationship, your relationship also affects your self-esteem, as you may regret your irrational reactions.
Jealousy and insecurity. Low self-esteem can give rise to jealousy and insecurity. You may question your worthiness to your partner, and believe it is a fluke they like you. As such, it is normal for people with low self-esteem to expect their partner may be attracted to someone else or fear they will leave the relationship.
Difficulty being yourself. Low self-esteem can make it difficult to be your authentic self in a relationship. You may put considerable effort into being likeable or attractive. For example, you may work hard at entertaining others or to be interesting. Or, perhaps you always try to look your best.
Poor relationship choice. Low self-esteem can affect your choice in a partner or friend. Low self-esteem means you are more likely to ignore your core needs in a relationship. For example, you may stay with your partner, despite their lack of affection for you. Or, you may tolerate your friend’s bad temper, and blame yourself for their reactions.
Furthermore, and this one is quite common, someone may believe that they are unworthy, so they keep sabotaging their relationships.
Negative thoughts and emotions certainly exist, but we can modify them. However, in order for change to occur or to let go of those negative emotions it is essential to get to the underlying beliefs that lie in the subconscious.
Your mind is made up of two parts:
When you go about your day, you might think that your conscious mind is running the show, but actually your subconscious mind runs the show between 90 to 95% of the time. What this means is that your past memories, thoughts, and beliefs are influencing what you think, say, and do each day whether you realise it or not.
Think of your subconscious as a tape that is playing over and over and the information on that tape is mainly from what you heard, experienced, and learned your first six years of life. On top of that, other memories and events since then have contributed to the voice on that tape.
When you are not in conscious thought mode (living mindfully in the present), that old tape is playing and influencing your life. This is why many people continue years and years in negative cycles such as depression, anxiety, bad relationships, hot temper, etc.
It is important to realise this because if you want to see real and lasting change in your life, you must understand how to change the tape that is playing in the subconscious. You must learn how to eject that tape and put a new one in that plays more positive thoughts and beliefs.
Changing negative emotions comes from changing negative beliefs and this can be done by targeting the subconscious.
Changing Subconscious Beliefs
Now that you understand better the role that the subconscious mind plays in your life, you probably want to know how you can change what’s going on there.
Here is a brief overview of some common methods of subconscious modification that can help you change and/or limit negative thoughts and faulty belief patterns.
Affirmations – conscious repetition of positive words or phrases about ourselves, which in time sink into our subconscious mind.
Guided meditations – a speaker gently guides you through visualizations to work on changing underlying beliefs that may not be serving you.
Regular meditation and mindfulness – meditation is a technique where you sit quietly and go within, focusing on your breath. As you tune out the world, you become more attuned to your inner landscape, and the mind quiets down. Mindfulness is being in the present moment, focusing on the now. Practicing mindfulness and meditation regularly can help us better understanding ourselves and become more centred.
Ancestral Healing - clearing the Akashic (Soul) Records of negative programming that is running in the sub-conscious
There is hope for everyone who struggles with negative emotions. It does take some knowledge and effort, but the effort is well worth it. We were not meant to be a slave to negative thoughts and emotions, so begin to delve into these methods and give them a try.
Heather Prince is founder of the Fearlessly Moving Forwards Method 90-Day online program, to heal heartbreak, which kicks off with an Ancestral Healing (clearing of the Akashic Records to remove negativity)