There comes a point at the end of a relationship where we need to let go. As they sing in the movie 'Frozen', Let It Go.... Let It Go.... Let It Go.....
We need to let go of the past: the hurt, unmet expectations, loss, hopes, and dreams. It's a healthy way to move on. We cannot possibly continue to move forward in our own lives if we are constantly holding on to our past. Letting go is not giving up. Letting go is not quitting. Letting go does not mean you do not know what to do or how to do it. Letting go does not imply that you are unstable or inconsistent. Letting go simply means that you are aware that in order to experience anything new, better, or different you have to first let go.
The truth is that for every beginning there is an ending. Sometimes it hurts. Often things end before we are actually ready to let them go, but holding on is actually mentally and emotionally more difficult than the reality of just letting go.
When people hold on, they let fear win: fear of hurt, fear of loss, fear of rejection, and fear of pain. They allow the struggle to prevent them from pursuing any opportunity for change. When you choose to let go, you choose to take control of your own thoughts, feelings, behaviours, and outcomes. Sometimes we need to make the choice to let go of toxic people in our lives in order to remove ourselves from the negativity of others. It will not be easy and it will take time to build the momentum needed to do this. But, it is possible.
Learning to let go is the first step toward self-care. It is acknowledging the hurt that person has caused you and making an active choice to not let him/her hurt you anymore. It is setting boundaries and expectations for the relationship and recognising that you are the only person who can give approval of the way you live your life.
Let go of what you cannot change and embrace what you can. Letting go of a person you love is not easy. The hurt it causes is unmeasurable, but it is important to recognise that you cannot change anyone but yourself.
Maybe you have to let go of unresolved grief, a past experience or a relationship. Let go of the control, let go of the guilt, and let go of the unpleasant emotions. You are not quitting. You are not giving up. You are choosing to no longer enable the pain, hurt, and unwanted behaviours. You’re choosing to no longer live in those moments. When you choose to let go of what was, you choose to grab on to what can be.