Updated: Nov 17, 2020
What grudge are you still holding on to?
A partner who cheated on you?
A partner who abandoned you?
A partner who verbally/physically abused you?
The legal bills?
A trauma from your childhood?
A friendship you lost?
Maybe you're still angry about getting laid off.
Or you might still be angry every time you think about the ex who made your life hell.
It took me a while to get over my ex, to be honest.
It’s natural to hold onto grudges and it’s hard for most of us to let them go. Holding a grudge can be comforting, however, it can cause you harm, both physically and emotionally.
Learning to let go of a grudge will not only make you feel better now but can also improve your health over time. If you’re ready to release your own hurt, do yourself a favour and give these
5 steps a try.
Own the grudge. Accept what it is and decide to let it go, with or without an apology. When you’re waiting for someone else to act, you’re giving him or her control over you. Let it go and focus on your own health and well-being.
Make it for YOU. Forgiveness and letting go is for you, not the person you’re forgiving. You’re forgiving the person not because he deserves it, but because YOU do! You’re the one who was hurt, and you deserve to live a life free of that gnawing and discontent.
Switch places. Take a moment to think about the situation from the other person’s perspective. This will help you understand why he acted that way. Maybe the person in question was in a lot of pain. This doesn’t justify his actions, but it will help you understand it. The more you understand the other person and his behaviour, the easier it is not to let go of a grudge.
Share your feelings. Talk it out with a friend, it’s a great way to acknowledge your feelings and get a new insight about your situation. Know that you are not alone in being bitter or hurt. It happens to everyone, and you’ll be surprised that your friend might have experienced the same thing.
Forgive. Forgiving isn’t the easiest to do especially when you’ve endured a lot of hurt and pain, but it’s the only way to truly let go and have peace.
In Fearlessly Moving Forwards Method, you have access to a forgiveness meditation as well as many other tools to heal your heartbreak and let go of grudges.
Releasing a grudge and learning to forgive is not easy, but it’s worth it. Otherwise that grudge can lead to emotional eating, alcohol, prescription meds, and a poor night's sleep.
If you are holding onto hurt, take comfort in the fact that we’ve all experienced this in some form or other. But please find a way to let it go. Living with less grudges on your mind is the path to finding the emotional strength we need to move on.