Have you caught yourself saying, ‘This is true because…’
I can’t do any public speaking because I sound like a 12-year old (or because I have a stutter).
I’ll never be successful in a business because my parents weren’t successful.
I can never start a business now because of Brexit.
Many people have this idea about wealth and the ceiling they can reach. Some common beliefs around wealth are:
I can never be wealthy because I don’t know how to have so much money.
I can’t be wealthy because others will depend on me.
I can’t be wealthy because I don’t deserve it.
As human beings, we don’t know how to be. All we know how to do is think, think, think and make meaning about anything or find meaning in things that happen.
Have you gone to party and someone happens to look at you differently? Did you try to make meaning out of that? Why did she look at me that way?
The meanings that we put on these types of beliefs will guide your behaviour.
I’m a woman that means I’ll never be able to lead. This can have several meanings: it’s difficult to climb the ladder if you’re woman OR women make poor leaders.
Too much wealth makes people behave differently. This can have several meanings: being rich means you lose friends OR if you become wealthy you’ll change.
Change is very challenging. This can have several layers of meaning associated with it.
Here there are two categories:
The outcome is possible for you: If the outcomes is possible, then you’ll go for it and you’ll get the desired outcome. Some questions you ask yourself to get permission from your subconscious, “Do I have what it takes? Can I do it?”
The outcome is impossible for you: If the outcome is impossible, then you’ll not even bother trying to go for it. In fact, you’ll just give up ahead of time.
I’ll never get a promotion.
I’ve had very little success in meeting a partner.
Cooking is not for me, I mess it up all the time.
I’ve tried it all, nothing works.
These beliefs revolve around your worthiness. Do I deserve this? These beliefs usually start with ‘I am’ or have words that make the statement very personal.
I’m not worth it.
I don’t deserve this.
I am not smart enough to be successful.
I don’t have it in me to be resilient.