After coming out of a long-term relationship, dating can be a nightmare.
Most of us have heard horror stories of someone who got into a relationship with someone who have been labelled a narcissist.
If you're in the dating game, or you're in a relationship and you're wondering how you can tell if you're with a narcissist, here's everything you ever wanted to know.
What is a Narcissist?
Narcissism is actually a personality disorder.
it’s about someone who has an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others.
Understand that the person most likely doesn't know they are a narcissist.
And even if they suspect it, chances are they don’t care and don’t want help. So, if perhaps you have gotten entangled in the narcissist’s web, it's best if you're prepared before you try to contend with addressing it or getting out.
The best advice is never confront someone about their narcissism, because that may not go very well.
Remember that many people use the term “narcissist” but don't really know for sure if that person is.
Maybe they’re with someone who is immature, selfish, or mean, so they give them the label. Just because someone acts selfish or lacks sensitivity doesn’t mean they could be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder.
The only clear way to know is to have them evaluated by a mental health professional.
If they are a true narcissist, they are often attracted to strong, confident, and self-assured women. While this may seem counterintuitive, it is important to realise that the narcissistic traits of grandiosity and confidence are really a mask for deep insecurity.
As a result, a narcissist may be attracted to an individual who possesses attributes that they value and that they believe will enhance their image. If you look good to other people, they hope that makes them look good.
Why do I attract narcissist partners?
Narcissists use a range of emotionally manipulative behaviours in their relationships. If you're not this kind of person and are more naïve in nature, you may simply be drawn into relationships with narcissists because you lack the ability to recognise what they are up to in the early stages
So let's get to the information that will help you.
The following are red flags
that you are indeed with someone who may have some narcissistic tendencies:
1. They're Never Wrong
A narcissist has a challenge to apologise because they don’t think they are
wrong. To admit they were wrong would make them feel awful about themselves, so it’s really tough for them to do.
2. They're Full Of Themselves
A narcissist loves attention and needs their ego stroked much of the time.
Some say they're like emotional vampires because they don't have the self-love deep down that they need in order to feel good about themselves. It might seem like they love themselves, because they're quite selfish and egotistical, but really, they need their ego stroked to feel good about themselves.
3. You’re Always Wrong
It would be rare for a narcissist to admit that they are wrong, so they're really good at making others wrong.
They've got a fragile psyche because they have never dealt with their childhood wounds. They have this inflated ego and that makes it really tough for them to hear you when you go to them with an issue.
Most of the time they'll take whatever it is you're saying and somehow turn it around to make you the one who's wrong.
4. They Are Masters At Manipulating
You probably won't pick up on this for a while, but a narcissist is a master manipulator.
They need to control, and at the very root of that need to control is this petrifying fear of being abandoned. They’ll manipulate conversations and situations to make you feel like you're wrong, because if you feel like you're wrong, you're less likely to leave them.
5. They're Vain
We've already mentioned how egotistical narcissists are.
They’re vain, they're full of themselves, and they think they're God's gift to the Earth. They believe that others put them on pedestals, and they put themselves there too.
Sometimes it can come across as simply being confident, but the real test comes out when they're not getting the praise or attention that they think they deserve. Then, they can become angry and begin a whole host of behaviours that are hurtful.
6. They Emotionally Or Verbally Abuse
It's not unlikely for a narcissist to emotionally or verbally abuse their partners.
That could be belittling you when you're out with friends, sending you ugly texts when they don’t get their way, giving you the silent treatment because you didn't do or say what they thought you should, playing mind games with you, and so on. And just so you know, none of this is ever okay.
7. You Never Feel Heard
Chances are you want to emotionally connect with your partner, but a narcissist is unable to emotionally connect with you.
You may go to them for emotional support or just to connect at a deeper level, and you'll be met with aloofness and perhaps coldness. Their waters will never run deep, and chances are they will never really listen to you.
They’ll tell you that you talk too much, or they'll tell you to go to your friends to discuss your issues. They have very little tolerance for trying to be a support to you as you navigate life.
8. They’re Intolerant
The narcissist will not want to put up with any drama from you.
If they want to create some drama, fine. But let's say you have an awful day at work, or someone treats you poorly. You go to them for support, and they just don’t want to hear it.
They might tell you you're acting like a baby and just grow up and get over It. They lack empathy and will be challenged when it comes to giving you any emotional support.
I think that you're getting the idea.
Do you see some of these traits in the person you're dating?
Are you in a relationship with someone like this?
If so, know that you're not alone.
You can begin a journey toward working on your own self and becoming stronger in and of yourself, by starting with forgiveness.
Join my free Facebook Group to receive a free bundle of "Learn How To Get Over Someone and Get Your Life Back On Track" which includes a Forgiving your ex Meditation, plus a workbook about feeling lonely and a podcast with "I am enough" affirmations.
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