Don't Let Fear Stop You

Updated: Mar 26, 2021

Psychologists at Harvard talk about a strange and startling discovery about humans...

The discovery provided a fascinating explanation for why, despite buying tons of self help books... Despite attending lots of seminars... Despite watching endless hours of videos... And despite buying huge amounts of courses...even hiring mentors and, yes, coaches... Many people don't become who they want to be. You can give them all the knowledge they need... You can inspire and motivate them... You can help them to understand themselves... But something holds them back and keeps them stuck where they are and who they are - despite them desperately wanting to change. What the psychologists at Harvard share explains the root cause behind why so many people:

  • Struggle with fears like the fear of failure…

  • Buy courses, books and training's and never complete them or put them into action...

  • Battle against perfectionism and procrastination...

  • Worry about getting rejected or judged by others...

  • Face a constant tug of war about whether or not they're capable of being a coach or making their dreams happen...

  • Feel undeserving of money and charging others for their services…

  • Don’t become their dream version of themselves despite spending a fortune on courses, trainings, mentors coaches and more…

  • And, most of all, stay stuck where they are despite DESPERATELY wanting to change.


You're about to find out why these challenges and obstacles, and many more, are a result of one thing... And you're also about to find out why, if you've struggled to take action towards your own dreams... It wasn't your fault. Let me explain... Some people, no matter what you do, don't change. They want to change. They really, really do. But they don't. Dreams will fade and die. Challenges and obstacles won’t be overcome. The good news is, whilst many don't change, many others do. In order to understand this I need to take you back in time... Way, way back... To a time before food was easily available... To a time before we had warmth and shelter... To a time where our very safety was at stake on a daily basis due to predators and other tribes. The world, for millions of years, was an extremely dangerous place for our ancestors. Dying before you hit 30 was normal. Disease…starvation...attack...hypothermia...normal. You name it - our ancestors were falling victim to it. Experts at Harvard believed that, because the world was such a dangerous place, our ancestors developed a survival strategy... And really listen to the next bit because this is so important... When things were comfortable - our ancestors DIDN'T take risks. If you had enough food - you don't take risks to go out and get more where you could easily fall prey to a predator. If you had enough logs for the fire - you don't take risks where you go out to get more and encounter an enemy tribe. If you had enough water - you don't take risks by going to the river where you could fall victim to the elements. I could go on. The point is, as a survival strategy, our ancestors would avoid risk at all costs unless they had to take them in order to survive. Harvard Psychologists called this "Loss Aversion Except When Threatened”. When things were comfortable - our ancestors DIDN'T take risks. And because avoiding risk when comfortable worked in keeping people safe and alive... It got passed on through the generations as a survival strategy... And became a genetically inherited trait that was hard wired into humans DNA in order to allow them to survive and reproduce. When things are comfortable - you DON'T take risks. That survival mechanism is hard wired into humans. It became part of our biology. Really let that settle in. And then read on to discover...

How This Legacy Lives On In Us Today...

OK, fast forward to the modern day... We have food, shelter and safety. Most of us do at least. We're extremely fortunate and live better than a King and Queen would have been able to just a few hundred years ago. The dangers of the past have gone... But our biology still see's RISK out in the modern world. It still has the "Loss Aversion" programming inside of us. What has changed is what we have been culturally conditioned to see as "risky". And, if we're comfortable, we'll avoid putting ourselves in situations that could trigger those "risky" things becoming a reality. Let me give you an example… Many moons ago something the tribe would have conditioned you to see as risky would have been large animals like tigers or other enemy tribes. Unless you desperately needed food, water or warmth - you should never risk encountering one. These days one of the things we've been culturally conditioned to see as risky is failure. Fear of failure is a HUGE obstacle to making your dreams happen and exists because of your own experiences in the past and how you reacted to them, or because of what others taught you about failure. Now, let's say you are in a career. You don't love it...it doesn't light you up every day...you might even hate it...but it's comfortable because you know it. And starting a new career, or a new business, could result in failure (something you’ve likely been conditioned to think of as risky). So, using the survival strategy from the past, you'll likely avoid starting something new and stay where you are. It's comfortable there, after all. No "risk" in what you already know and are doing, you see. Sure, it might not make you happy. Ah, but you'll be far more likely to "survive" in the eyes of your biology. And that's all it cares about. Here's the really interesting bit... When I looked at past clients who had succeeded in making their dreams happen I saw two common patterns when it came to the fear of failure... Either they DIDN'T see failure as risky and therefore forged ahead... OR they were so uncomfortable with where they were that they saw experiencing failure as the lesser of two evils and they forged ahead. For those that were comfortable though... And those who saw failure as a bad thing and therefore feared risking failure becoming a reality... It was almost guaranteed they wouldn't see things through to the end. Their biology put the brakes on their psychology and lasting change and action felt almost impossible. Whether someone makes their dream happen or stays where they are comes down to two things... How comfortable they are and what they perceive as risky and therefore fear happening. Does This Sound Familiar?

Has this ever happened to you… You want something. It might be more confidence…a better body…a new career…new business…new relationship… Whatever it is - it’s a dream of yours. You know, if you could just get that thing or become that person, you’d be much happier. So you buy courses or books or attend seminars or hire coaches in order to learn how to get there. But either you don’t complete the course/book etc… Or don’t put it into action fully and consistently. Somewhere, someplace, you fall off along the way. Your motivation wanes. You find yourself getting distracted by something else that promises to help your dream come true. Another book…another seminar…another coach or course… At first you’re excited again. But then the cycle repeats itself. You don’t complete it or don’t put into action what you know you should. Perfectionism and procrastination become a consistent companion. If that sounds like you, or your clients, I want you to consider something… Were you comfortable where you were? I’m not talking about happy where you were. I mean comfortable. As in - whilst you wanted the results of your dream - it would be far easier to just stay where you were because where you were nothing was at stake or at risk. See, nothing is at risk when you are just learning and staying where you are. But when you have to take action… When you step out into the unknown and have to experience uncertainty… All of a sudden there is a deep, inner feeling of slight “danger”, isn’t there? Like something could go wrong. I get it. I’ve felt that too. We all have. Because, remember…. It’s hard wired into us all that risk is bad and comfort is good. If any of this sounds familiar… If you’ve been on a personal development or coaching journey and still not arrived where you want to… Today might just be the most important day of the rest of your life. But let me prove that to you… Here's A Little Test You Can Personally Take To See If This Evolutionary Obstacle Has, Or Will, Hold You Back In Life…

OK, let’s put this to the test to see if you could be getting held back personally by what we’ve been speaking about… Below is a list of a handful of common fears that people often want to avoid. With each fear I’ve given you an example thought someone with that fear might think. The challenge here is often these fear