Discover what ‘inner child’ means?

Updated: Sep 16, 2020

Have you ever thought about why you can’t move forward?

Have you wondered why you sabotage yourself?

Have you ever questioned why you so easily feel anxious, depressed, and self-critical?

Inside each of us there’s an inner child that was once wounded.

To avoid the pain, we’ve tried to ignore that child, but s/he never goes away. Our inner child lives in our unconscious mind and influences how we make choices, respond to challenges, and live our lives.

Your Inner Child is the echo of the child you once were.

inner child

We each have our own history and we have all been influenced by our environment, events and the significant people around us. Our inner child has stored those memories, and their impact upon us, as well as past lives and shadows we inherit from our ancestors, such as abuse, abandonment, betrayal etc.

Up to the age of six years, our brain was functioning at a relatively slow pace —the Theta brainwave frequency of 4-7 cycles per second—which is a very ‘receptive’ brainwave state, and we would have been profoundly affected by our experiences.

inner child

We will have made ‘decisions’ at a sub-conscious level, about how we ‘should’ be and what we ‘should’ do in order to be seen as OK, and to be allowed to stay around and to ‘survive’ in our families.

Our later experiences will have reinforced these beliefs and formed our own ‘story’ for how our life ‘should’ be. We carry these immature stories and decisions with us into adulthood — when they run our lives more than 90% of the time.

It therefore makes sense that we should revisit the experiences of the child we once were and to find out what our own story says about our life and the unfolding drama we have been re-creating and repeating.

Not doing so will result in our playing out of the same un-examined story and drama over and over again.

We cannot change the story by talking about it, or by conscious effort alone. It was designed to keep us safe—albeit in ways that now hinder us—and so it isn’t given up that easily!

Most of the time we are living life like a child inside a grown-up’s body – and the child within us yearns for attention, understanding, care and support.

We may try to silence these deeper longings with alcohol or drugs, by promiscuity, gambling, over-spending, over-eating, work-a-holism, self-harming and other ways of avoiding the real and deeper needs we have. Needs which we haven’t allowed ourselves to become fully aware of, or to find a way to have sufficiently met.

Where does it begin?

We have all been influenced by our environments since the time we were in our mother’s womb.

The sounds around us, our mother’s stress levels, the abundance or deficit of the ‘feel-good’ hormones, our nourishment or lack of it, complications, twin pregnancies, drugs, alcohol, and infections will all have played their part in how safe we felt even before we were born. We can even hear if Mum and or Dad say they wanted a ‘girl’ and you were born a boy! Or vice versa.  Resulting in never feeling good enough! Or worthy of their love!

Then the actual birth experience, and our early infant care, and the ‘emotional availability’ of our mother will have either reinforced or soothed the impact of those first pre-natal influences.

As small children we will have been absorbing a great deal from our extended families, our caregiver(s), friends, pre-school and early school years, and religious institutions.

We may not have had words for these experiences but they will have been ‘logged’ in our sub-conscious minds and bodies.

Everything is “energy” but you can imagine it like a “pool” in which we float, or sink. Inevitably, the water will be a bit dirty – or it may even be like thick mud.

In this pool resides our self-esteem, body-image, family trauma, shame and secrets (even if not spoken about—as they all affect the quality of the care our caregivers are able to show to us).

We will sink down into this pool, or mud, whenever we are overwhelmed by our negative thoughts, emotions, self-doubt or self-loathing.

When clearing your Akashic (Soul) Records and removing ancestral and past life stuff, as well as current energy, the aim is to sensitively lift out this dirt and mud, layer by layer (like an onion), until we remove all the old programs and beliefs into what we call “dead files” and replace with the positive instead.

We must also learn how not to ‘top-it-up’ with more (negative energy) mud—either by doing that ourselves, or by being around other people who want to dump some of their own mud onto us, instead of dealing with it, and cleaning it up, for themselves.