I’ve just returned from sunny Tenerife, so I do apologise for the delay in writing to you and I’ve landed back into the land of Channukah and the countdown to Christmas!
Happy Channukah to all my Jewish tribe.
As we drove home last night, we enjoyed the Christmas trees and fairy lights everywhere.
It’s going to be a busy month full of parties, festive lunches and present buying, which can feel quite fearful for some people. This can show up as….
excessive worry about everyday events and problems
issues with their personal social and work relationships
heart palpitations, elevated heart rate
So here are 10 tips to cope at this busy time of year:-
Take time out
If you feel anxious or fearful, it’s not possible to think clearly. So, when you are aware of feeling fearful, take time out so you can physically calm down.I suggest that you DO something, such as a 15 minute walk, even if it’s just around the block, or make yourself a cup of tea (chamomile or green tea is great for calming down) or run a bath and add some lavender oil.
BreatheIf you become aware that your heart is beating a little faster or your palms feel sweaty, just allow yourself to focus on your breathing.Simply feel what you feel, while focusing on taking a deep in breath through your nose. Hold it for a second, then breathe out through your mouth. Do this 3 times. Feeling better? Not quite? Then repeat until you do feel calmer.If you wish, you can place the palm of your hand on your stomach and breathe slowly and deeply. Know that the fear will recede just like a wave going away from the shore.
Feel the fear
Avoiding fears only makes them scarier. Whatever your fear, if you face it, it should start to fade. If you felt fearful at your last christmas party, it doesn’t mean you need to avoid this year’s party. Write down what the problem, such as “I didn’t know what to say”, then write next to it “What I can do is……………..” ask their name/ask about their job/ask about where they’re spending christmas/ give them a compliment……………… Make an intention to enjoy it without having an expectations.
Imagine the worstAsk yourself what is the worst thing that can happen?Perhaps it’s feeling so fearful that you drop something or your mind goes blank.Now focus on “What I can do is………….” pick up whatever you may have dropped….. or smile and be honest and say that you mind’s gone completely blank. People will respect your honesty.
Is it true?It sometimes helps to challenge fearful thoughts. For example, if you’re scared of getting trapped in a lift and suffocating, ask yourself if you have ever heard of this happening to someone. Ask yourself what you would say to a friend who had a similar fear.
Go with the flowLife is full of stresses, yet many of us feel that our lives must be perfect. We label days as “bad” because of setbacks or things not quite being what we expected, but just allow yourself to go with the flow and remember that is life and it’s ok.
Take a moment to close your eyes and imagine a place of safety and calm. It could be a picture of you walking on a golden sandy beach, or snuggled up in bed with the cat next to you, or a happy memory from childhood. Let the positive feelings soothe you until you feel more relaxed.
Sharing fears takes away a lot of their scariness. If you can’t talk to a partner, friend or family member, book a free chat with me.