I have been working with a few ladies this year who were solely counting on others to make them feel loved and appreciated and they had actually set themselves up for
disappointment when out on the dating scene. Most of them at the beginning weren't keen on the colour pink. Subconsciously, they weren't being self compassionate and were not open to self unconditional love.
The colour pink relates to nurturing and understanding. It implies romance, affection, and intimacy. Pink soothes the physical passion and brings loving energy vibes to us.
Of course, we all like to be affirmed by those close to us. However, if others are our primary means of feeling loved, you may find yourself feeling sad, angry, frustrated, disappointed and probably lonely.
Many struggle quite a bit with feeling unloved and unworthy. Unconsciously, running "I am not worthy" in their belief system.
It may take a while, but finally you can learn how to love yourself first in order to fill up that inner void, which I share in the Fearlessly Moving Forwards Method and start to embrace the healing colour pink.
Are you giving away self control?
Do you give other people control over you? Do you not have clear boundaries?
If the answer is yes, then you probably experience more negative emotions than necessary.
After my 34-year relationship ended, I learnt so many things and understand that it was part of my spiritual growth. The most important thing I learnt was to become my own source of love.
It makes a world of difference when you can dig deep to the root (that's why I'm nicknamed the Rootmaster!) and discover what energy from ancestors, past lives and current life need removing so you can reveal the divine love at the core of your being. It also becomes clear what you have chosen as your life's theme and challenge and what your major qualities are.
Clients have shared with me that they wake up feeling happy just because they're alive, and life finally makes some sense! I feel very humbled.
My healing journey wasn't a straight line.
The transition from caterpillar to butterfly was a process and at times it was uncomfortable. But as I share with clients, trust the process. Continuing the practise of daily meditation, exercise, and pursuing a career that I was passionate about helped me to get through that huge change in my life and continues to help me grow today.
I want to share with you three of the biggest ways you can learn how to become your very own source of love, instead of relying on others.
1. SELF Responsibility
Are you struggling with with depression, anxiety, frustration, and fear?
You may even be self-medicating with alcohol, cigarettes or sugary foods. You may be pointing fingers at your partner, parents, friends, etc. for the circumstances you now find yourself in.
I assure you that until you take responsibility for your feelings, you will likely continue to suffer in pain.
Why? It really is no one else’s job to make you feel loved or happy. Of course people can be nice to you and love you – and they should. However, if they don’t (as people do let us down at times), how do you react? Do you spiral into a depression? Drink? Detach?
When my marriage ended, I blamed others, not realising I was living in victim mode. I even had the right to in many ways, but I finally realised that blaming others for my own level of happiness never changes a thing.
As I stepped into victor mode, I owned my own power and responsibility for my feelings.
Something then began to change deep inside. I actually began feeling liberated! I no longer wanted to give someone else permission to be my only source of love when I knew full well that was my job. And, no one could do it better than me!
Do your best to stop pointing fingers.
Take your power back. If you’re in a narcissistic, abusive relationship, it’s time to get out or work it out. If you’re single and blaming your ex for your emotional circumstances, you’ve got to stop. Take your power back and do something different. Make major changes.
You are responsible for your emotional life.
2. Your Thoughts, Beliefs, And Emotions Create Your Reality.
I found out that one reason I acted out co-dependent characteristics in a previous relationship was because I had an old tape that was recorded in childhood playing continually in my subconscious mind.
I had some unhealed wounds that festered and would occasionally rise to the surface, especially when my ex would withdraw emotionally. It would trigger feelings of abandonment, unworthiness, and rejection time and time again and emotionally I would digress.
My subconscious beliefs were running the show and until I recognised this and actually contended with the old programs, this dreadful cycle continued.
If you’re struggling emotionally, chances are your thoughts and beliefs are inaccurate and those most likely have come from your childhood, past lives or even ancestors. We get “programmed” quite well in our first six years of life by caretakers, society, peers, etc and can carry energy over from past life experiences as well as inherited ancestral shadows of abandonment, betrayal, abuse, poverty and much more.
If you’ve experienced some trauma or neglect, you most likely detached from the feelings associated with such. You were too young to process those feelings so you repressed, suppressed, detached, etc., but those feelings come back on occasion because they need you to process and integrate them by healing your inner child, which is included in Fearlessly Moving Forwards Method
It’s time to contend with any faulty thoughts and beliefs you have.
Make a list of the negative beliefs you hold about yourself and work through them. If you’re suffering from a lot of depression, consider seeking support. When you can reprogram your subconscious mind, your whole world will change for the better!
3. EVERY DAY YOU HAVE A BLANK PAGE TO CREATE
I used to want someone to rescue me in just about every way. I felt like a scared little girl without a clue as to how to move forwards.
Creating a life that I loved wasn't something I knew how to do. However, over time, as I continued on the path of self-discovery and persisted despite pain and obstacles, I learned that I was the sole creator of my life.
Growing up struggling with co-dependency caused me to feel like the only way I was of any value was in pleasing and taking care of other people. The big problem with that was that I never really learned how to take care of myself or put myself first.
I lived my life based upon my unhealed wounds from the past and gave others control over me. Once I made a huge decision to work on “my issues”, my internal life began changing and as a result, my external world began changing as well.
I went from insecure to secure, feeling unloved to knowing that I’m always loved by me and source.
My inner love for myself has changed my entire life and this is one reason I’m so passionate about helping others who struggle with anxiety, depression, and co-dependency.
Be Open to Starting the Journey
Are you feeling unloved? Unworthy? If so, begin a journey within and do some digging there. See if you’ve got unhealed wounds from your past you’ve never dealt with. Gauge your relationships to see if any of them are toxic.
Consider reaching out to a therapist for some help. Begin a fresh relationship with your higher power.
I know if I could experience progress in my life, anyone can. You’re worthy. You’re beautiful. And, I believe in YOU!
Heather Prince is co-author of VIBE