Now here’s a thing about compliments.
Do you give them or prefer to receive them?
We all need affection to satisfy the need to belong, we want praise so we can feel admired, and we want recognition to satisfy our need for personal worth.
Acceptance and praise are two of our deepest cravings. We can never get enough.
When you have a belief that you need approval, you value the opinions, beliefs and needs of others above your own.
This leads to sacrificing your own dreams and ambitions in order to have others approval.
Negative consequences are :-
lack of achievement
lack of personal fulfilment
low self-esteem and confidence levels
increased stress
So my questions to you are….
Do you change your opinion because someone else doesn’t approve?
Do you give insincere compliments so you can gain approval?
Do you feel upset, worried or insulted if someone doesn’t agree with you?
Do you say you agree when in fact you don’t?
Are you afraid to say “no”?
Do you stop yourself complaining about poor service?
Do you gossip to get attention?
How often have you seen attention seeking behaviour online nowadays, where someone shares a sad story so that the comments rush in with “you deserve better than that!”
This person is looking for compliments, validation and approval!
Overcoming these behaviours results in a more confident, positive life because you will live by your own values! It comes from self-approval and self-respect.
The first step is to strengthen your intuition, your Superpower, so that you feel strong enough to go with what FEELS right for you. This way, you will no longer feel the need to look to others to feel good enough about your choices and decisions.
Everyday write down 1 thing you feel proud about yourself. It could be a choice you’ve made, or something you’ve discovered or something else – go with what FEELS right for you.
Become aware of your language, self-talk, and behaviour, and identifying when it is coming from wanting someone else to say “you’re ok”, or “you made the right choice”, or “you did the right thing”.
Instead, when you do make a decision, check in with yourself that it FEELS right, remind yourself that it is your choice, and give yourself validation for just being you.
Be honest with yourself when you take on a new task or commitment, whether you are doing it because it is “right” for you or because you want to get approval and avoid disapproval.
Know it’s ok to say “No”. You don’t need to please anyone, other than yourself.
If you are someone who rejects positive feedback, you’re robbing yourself the opportunity to feel valued and appreciated, and deny the other person the joy of honouring you.
We need to see and be seen for the light we have to offer the world—so why not give that gift to ourselves and other people?
So today I propose a challenge for you:
Receive all compliments without questioning them, analysing them, or saying something like
“oh this old thing”.
Simply accept it, and know that you deserve it.
Remember, the need for approval kills freedom and you may be wondering what exactly FREEDOM means…
Being free gives you the opportunity to exercise your rights, powers and desires.