7 Key Questions To Ask Yourself After A Break up

After a break up, it's important to reflect on what you learnt from the relationship and ask yourself some key questions.

1. What did I learn about how I handle conflict?

Conflict is a normal part of any healthy relationship. After all, two people can’t be expected to agree on everything, all the time. The key is not to fear or try to avoid conflict but to learn how to resolve it in a healthy way.

When conflict is mismanaged, it can cause great harm to a relationship, but when handled in a respectful, positive way, conflict provides an opportunity to strengthen the bond between two people.

Conflict arises from differences, both large and small. It occurs whenever people disagree over their values, motivations, perceptions, ideas, or desires. Sometimes these differences appear trivial, but when a conflict triggers strong feelings, a deep personal need is often at the core of the problem. These needs can range from the need to feel safe and secure or respected and valued, to the need for greater closeness and intimacy.

In personal relationships, a lack of understanding about differing needs can result in distance, arguments, and break-ups.

When you can recognise conflicting needs and are willing to examine them with compassion and understanding, it can lead to creative problem solving and stronger relationships.

Did you communicate clearly?

Did you listen carefully without interrupting?

Did you develop a plan to work on the conflicts and follow through?


2. How did I feel about myself when thi